Monday, September 29, 2008

Musical sex makes musical babies

The guitar center catalogue arrived in today’s mail. Contained within it was a brief interview with Coheed and Cambria and how much they like BOSS guitar pedals. As there were others in the room who had not yet heard of C&C…gasp…so the chore of describing their musical styling’s fell to us, Zippo and the Hippie.

The only way we could think of describing them was using the ubiquitous “musical baby concept”. This theory involves the consummation of imaginary rendezvous between bands. For example, if one band got together and had a baby with another band, the baby would be such and such. This theory allows one to quickly and easily describe the sound of one band as a combination of two hopefully understood and established bands. This seemingly simple way of describing the musical style tends to get lost, however if the other two band in question, caught in the sack, are not known to the people that this unholy union is being described to. This problem involves more “baby-making”, but can eventually be solved. Thus the musical baby making theory helps explain music to your friends and family easily.

Coheed and Cambria was described as the result of Kansas and Metallica getting it on somewhere backstage in a mass of guitar cables and hair. The baby has the epic traits of both parents: the hard rocking Chugah-chug of Metallica and the epic, flowing arrangements of Kansas. Given the lovechild is imperfect in description but take for a moment the metered riffing of Kirk Hammett. Imagine in your mind the colorful landscapes painted by John Elephante and company, beautiful and flowing with imaginative storytelling.

The guys in C&C produce comic books. Comic books. Tell me of a nerd ridden medium that is more in tune with blood, sweat, and rock & roll combined with epic storytelling.

Thanks for reading the first post by Zippo and The Hippie!

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